♪Drawn in by its groovitational, groovitational pull♫

So, this morning I had a breakdown. It was lots of fun, let me tell you. I went in to see my Writing teacher (who I don't actually hate, she is really nice), and I just got really stressed about all of the revisions she wanted me to do with my paper by tomorrow, and so I started crying...Ugh I HATE that. The worst part was after I had stopped the flow of my tears, I just kept hiccuping. I have this rare disease where I hyperventilate when I cry, NBD. It was very embarrassing because I was loud, and I couldn't breathe or talk. But we managed to communicate and choose me a different topic. So now instead of writing about how I hate people with long hair (yes, that was my topic), I am writing about how I hate how all of the walls here at BYU are WHITE. Like padded-room white. I feel institutionalized. But anyway, after I had my freak out, I felt much better, so I feel much less stressed about everything...which is a weird turn of events, because I really have much more to do now that I have to write a whole new paper; my writing teacher did give me an extension, which is the benefit of losing it in front of one of your teachers I guess, so I have until Thursday now. I started writing the draft tonight...it is really bad right now, but I am confident that I will prevail!

Yeah so I am pretty sure I have carpal tunnel or something like that. My thumb continues to twitch--actually, strike that, my thumb is not twitching, IT MOVES BY ITSELF. I can reenact the movement, and usually when something is twitching it goes too fast for you to do it voluntarily. Also, my wrist is just killing me. It is actually really hard to type this. I have even taken some pain meds, and they did nothing; so I sort of think that this is a pinched nerve, or something. I really have no idea. Of course I decided to look my symptoms on the internet, and it told me that I either have early-onset Parkinson's, or carpal tunnel. I chose to believe the latter.

Hey, hey, hey, I'm not a failure anymore!!!!

 I ACTUALLY PASSED A TEST IN COLLEGE WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!??!?!?!?

I am so excited about this. It was in Geology, a science class that I actually enjoy (I know, what can I say? I flipping LOVE rocks!), and I studied and went to the review, and then took the test. I was so relieved to see that I knew almost all of the answers on sight without even having to think about it. :) I got an 84%!!!!! :) I am so pleased. This semester is definitely turning out to be better than the last. :)

On a more annoying note, the London study abroad people have STILL NOT EMAILED ME!!! I guess I am just going to have to be a nag and send them an email again. :P

Also, my thumb has been twitching really randomly. It started two days ago when I was trying to sleep. It just sort of takes on a life of its own and moves by itself. It's weird and annoying. It is also the thumb on the hand with the wrist that had the cyst last year or whenever that was. I wish it would stop.

But not today!!!! :)

I feel I must expel this from my system:

So for Humanities we have to go to some specific performances put on by BYU. I just got back from wishing it was acceptable to scream in public and throw fruit. I knew that this performance was a dance concert, but I didn't realize that it was modern/contemporary dance. When I saw that I kind of threw up in my mouth. I just don't understand why anyone would think that that is an acceptable way to move in public. If I danced like that I would hide in shame for all eternity. I sort of figured, while I was trying to distract myself, that contemporary dance reminds me of toddlers trying to do ballet. They have no coordination or grace and they sort of just flop around on stage. So that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I just paid $2 (student discount) to see when I could have been working on my millions of things due tomorrow.

The only good thing about this performance had nothing to do with the "dancing". There was a live jazz band called "Synthesis" that played along with them, and they were FABULOUS. They played "Sing, Sing, Sing" and "The Jazz Police", among other tunes that I didn't recognize. I got so nostalgic when they played because it reminds me of senior year in high school jazz band... That was the only positive emotion invoked through the whole performance. The other emotions included disbelief (at the people who actually like that stuff), confusion (why is this an art form?), embarrassment (I am now officially ashamed to be an American.) and boredom.

I really hope that my professor will accept a heavily negative review with nothing good to say at all.

I am basically just trying to put off having to do homework...

Today in school I was wearing these awesome flowered cargo pants I bought at home for SIX DOLLARS. Someone said "Nice pajamas" as they walked by, and I shouted back "THEY ARE NOT PAJAMAS!"...like in Despicable Me. Never mind.

The London study abroad people still have not told me anything, so I continue to wait in the dark.

I have so much Writing homework. It is insanity. They really should reconsider their workload. None of my other classes have this much busy work. It is really annoying. The only interesting assignment so far is one where we have to come to class with a paragraph of our favorite author's writing. I am going to skim Gone With The Wind for an appropriate paragraph.

I basically have no will to...

I can't really get all of my thoughts into a logical, flowing rhythm right now, so I am just going to list them:

1. I flipping LOVE Gone With The Wind. It is my favorite book, and probably my favorite movie. The story is just so good. I just idolize Scarlet, which is weird because people do not usually call fictional characters their idol. But here I am! I, once again, am the ultimate fangirl because real people are obviously not good enough for me.

2. Snow is probably one of the worst things created. It just causes chaos. It also causes ski resorts to open, which is definitely a tragedy. I was unrighteously happy about Bogus Basin not opening, and was then crushed and angry when it did open. Conclusion= the happiness of others makes me angry.

3. Alarms are made to wake you up, and then keep you up. That is all I am going to say about that.

4. I am going to find out if I am going to London in the Fall today or tomorrow, and I am pretty conflicted about the whole thing. I would really like to go and learn and all that stuff, but I am pretty sure I won't make friends and that I will be alone for a whole semester and then I will come back and have to live with strangers during Winter semester. It is just not a very uplifting situation right now. I just don't know what to think.

5. I watch way to much TV. I have recently been watching Never Mind the Buzzcocks, which is this British pop music quiz show thing, and it is HILARIOUS. It is kind of inappropriate at times (I mean, we all know Europeans), but it just brings me great joy. I am also watching Pretty Little Liars unfold currently.

Yeah that's about it. There is nothing in there about me thinking about "school" or "homework" or any of that tripe, so I am just going to continue on my merry way.

Sarcasm

So I gave a talk in church today and included a Lord of the Rings quote. I think it sort of makes you the ultimate fangirl when you talk about your favorite movies in CHURCH. Anyway, I really enjoy public speaking. I think it is fun, which is not something most people can say. :)

Since I spent all day yesterday writing my talk, today I get to write my paper for Writing!!! Yippee!!!

More evidence that I need help.

I just keep fangirling all over my life!!! I. Need. To. Stop.

Anyway today in Humanities we were learning about dance, which just made me really happy and excited anyway, and it came to the time when she was going to show us a bunch of clips of dancing. There was a clip of Fred Astaire from Holiday Inn (a movie that I really love), so while when she started saying "This clip is from..." I completely interrupted her and yelled "HOLIDAY INN!". Why can't I just keep to myself? Why?

I also overheard my Writing teacher talking to one of her friends about Sherlock and I about exploded with excitement. It was all I could do from yelling at the top of my lungs my love for Sherlock.

A list of my most memorable fangirl moments.

For those of you who actually know me, you will understand that my life is basically a LONG string of obsessions. My obsessions range from Care Bears (in Junior High) to BBC (now and forever). Here is a list of times I can remember when I embarrassed myself with my own fangirl voracity.

1. When my family went to London in the summer we went to the Doctor Who Experience. They had this simulation where you got to help the Doctor in an adventure, and at one point we (everyone in the session) got to help the Doctor drive the TARDIS. (Side note: If all of this is lost on you....too bad.) We all got a little control box with buttons to push and stuff, and the Doctor came on the giant screen in front of everyone and said something along the lines of "Who has the controls marked 'Navigation'?" and since my controls said "Navigation" on them, I excitedly yelled "ME!!!!!" and threw my hands in the air...Apparently, half of the controls said "Navigation" on them, so most of the people in the room gave me very weird looks. Geez, I was just excited!

2. The first day of Writing this semester we all had to go around and introduce ourselves and say nice stuff about ourselves and yada yada yada. The teacher got up and introduced herself and then said that she likes Doctor Who. I proceeded to squeal loudly and throw my hands around for a bit while everyone stared at me.

3. This one happened today. In the same Writing class, the teacher asked us about the 3-day weekend we all just had, and there were the general mumbles of stuff. She then asked if anyone watches Sherlock, and I shrieked (yes. SHRIEKED) like a BANSHEE and threw my hands around again. Man, I am just an EMBARRASSMENT. Whew. But it makes for funny stories!!!

So there you have it. The quintessential me.